I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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