im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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