OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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