I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
