i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
