Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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