After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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