I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She bit a glass in half.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
