What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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