Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
