I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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