Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
