shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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