butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
