if i can run in heels then i can drive
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
