hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He shit in the fireplace
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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