How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
