it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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