Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
