ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
