I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
