Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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