Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
