Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
babies were throwing up all over the place
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
