if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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