Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
