hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
