so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
