Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
