Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize