do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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