Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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