What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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