Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.