I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
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No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
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was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers