Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
the day after is always just damage control
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire