dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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