For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
