Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize