I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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