Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
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