he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
