This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
