yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize