Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
