Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter