Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along. http://tfl.nu/x1z0
  Replies (11) Good night (947) Bad night (3865)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining. http://tfl.nu/2itw
  Replies (30) Good night (3943) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened. http://tfl.nu/8b76
  Replies (34) Good night (3750) Bad night (1710)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex http://tfl.nu/02xp
  Replies (36) Good night (944) Bad night (4342)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): 20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!" http://tfl.nu/w8i5
  Replies (33) Good night (5784) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  You totally left a blue butt print on our banister

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): You totally left a blue butt print on our banister (573): Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time. http://tfl.nu/r57f
  Replies (12) Good night (3267) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him http://tfl.nu/0v7f
  Replies (4) Good night (5654) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen. http://tfl.nu/y5cy
  Replies (1) Good night (633) Bad night (2435)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs http://tfl.nu/vj8z
  Replies (11) Good night (4746) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me. http://tfl.nu/y2d7
  Replies (5) Good night (1284) Bad night (2072)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance. http://tfl.nu/4x77
  Replies (8) Good night (927) Bad night (2536)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub. http://tfl.nu/lnap
  Replies (11) Good night (1772) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper http://tfl.nu/9t3g
  Replies (12) Good night (2188) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick... (320): He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis. http://tfl.nu/fuv3
  Replies (25) Good night (2130) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night http://tfl.nu/tn8h
  Replies (4) Good night (727) Bad night (249)

Randomize