How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..