Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
