Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(205): View more from Alabama

I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.

(1-205): View more from Alabama

Is it working?

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(303): View more from Colorado

There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?

(1-303): View more from Colorado

Agreed.

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(941): View more from Florida

I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off

(1-941): View more from Florida

Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS

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(406): View more from Montana

Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.

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(516): View more from New York

you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..

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