Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We talked him into tasing himself.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.