Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i now understand why vodka
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
