their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
