4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
