Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
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It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
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a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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