My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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