this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
