can we get nightvision for the apartment?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
