I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
