Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
