Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
