There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
