I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
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The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
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did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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