I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
