Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.