Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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