i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
