the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
