3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
