Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize