So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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