Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
