I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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