Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
