ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
