mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
