Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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