You can't motorboat a personality
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize